Wow! It has been a long time since I did any writing on this blog. Seems that I unintentionally went on hiatus for the summer and now that it will officially be fall as of later on this evening that is it back to attempting to document my thoughts as a new Mom.
New Mom....15.5 months later, that term seems almost foreign to me as I am not sure if I can even be considered a "New Mom" anymore. I am definitely learning new things each and every day and doing my best to overcome daily challenges with my daughter but the term "New Mom" isn't necessarily how I would describe myself any longer. In a way, they should perhaps have different levels of Mommy-hood, kind of like how they do with swimming lessons. However instead of moving from Guppie to Goldfish to Dolphin and you could move from "Sleep-deprived Mom" to "Chasing after a crawler Mom" to "In teething hell Mama" and so on. Wouldn't it be nice if being a Mom came with those sorts of tangible milestones and ones that we could look back on or cross off of a "to-do" list. Wouldn't it be nice if being a Mom meant having something physical that you could touch or wear on your chest as a badge of honor to say "Yes! I accomplished that". Sort of like a merit badge in bright colors with sparkles or an award given to Moms for successfully potty training their toddlers? Would be nice.
However, what I have learned in the past 15.5 months is that being a Mom does not come with those sorts of physical rewards. I will never get a raise or bonus for teaching my daughter how to hold her toothbrush or for successfully pulling sticky bits of peanut butter out of her hair. I will never get a special parking space one month for teaching her that it is NOT o.k. to try and flush ones books down the toilet or any extra words of commendation for showing her how sharing is good and explaining over and over that it is not nice to pinch someone while saying "ow" to them. And you know what? I am o.k. with that.
I feel that in the past 15.5 months and in particular over the course of the past 3 months or so that I have come into my own more as a Mom. I find that I question some of my decisions less and that I am learning to trust in my instincts and my gut feeling more. I have learned that being a Mom really is a 24 hour a day, 7 day a week, 365 day a year job. One never gets to take a vacation from being "Mommy" and even when you ARE on vacation, you are still Mommy - especially if they are with you. It will never be quite as easy (at least not for a very long time) for us to just jump in the car and "go" and that is also fine because I know that no matter where I am at any given moment, that I will always be a Mom....and being a Mom to my little monkey in particular is one of the greatest gifts and most amazing surprises that I could have never imagined.