Monday, June 6, 2011

2 years and wow is life different...

It has been 2 years since my precious little baby entered the world. Although, she's not much of a baby anymore..she is walking (quite often running), talking, talking, talking and laughing toddler who has a great sense of humor and is far too smart for her own good. However, it has been 2 years since this little lady entered into our world and she has helped to change our lives in more ways than she will ever know.

From the moment she was born, I knew that I had to live a better life and be a better version of myself for her. This was something I always wanted to do for myself but I had a fear of losing the weight I knew I needed to and to also remove the toxic negative personalities in my life who I had been dragging around with me for such a long period of time. I had a fear that if I for some reason moved away from these people that I would be at a loss for "friends" in my life, as I had unfortunately known them for many, many years and in a way had a long history with them. However, none of them in the 14 or so years that I knew them brought to my life the joy that this tiny little person ever did and it was when I realized that it was this joy that I wanted to have in my life more so than anything, that I was able to take the leap I knew I needed to.

In a way, she saved me from myself and now 2 years later my life is a completely different version of what it used to be. I have let go of the "corporate" individual who I used to be and finally embraced being a stay at home Mom and the ups and downs that come along with it. I have made the most wonderful, fabulous girlfriends who are also (many of them) stay at home Moms but who I have found I have more in common with than those who I knew for so many years. Each of them brings joy, laughter and strength to my world that I have not had in many years and I now understand what the term "true friendship" means.

It is amazing what happens in your life when you release yourself from the negative personalities that you have possibly held on to for so long...believing that this was the best you could do because when you realize that the world is a huge, wonderful place full of people who not only share your interests but who encourage you to pursue yours. I feel for those who I know who have not been able to do this yet with their lives and who continue to let the words of other influence their thoughts and actions but I know that it doesn't matter how often they ask anyone on how to accomplish these things on their own that they never really will until they are truly ready in their own lives or have a reason given to them to do so.

In a way, becoming a Mom was the best thing to ever happen to me and looking back over the past 2 years of my little girls life, there isn't a thing that I would change and can only hope that as she continues to grow that she knows every day what an amazing person she is so that when she is older she knows to only surround herself with the most positive people she can in her life and to know that it is the voice inside her own head that she needs to listen to most...not that of others around her as in the end, this is her life to lead and as long as she is doing what makes her happy, it will be beautiful.

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